Thursday, December 31, 2009



Man, another year flying by, subhan'Allah (Glory be to God).

Last day of 2009, and while being stuck in the office with barely anyone else around, the thick blanket of silence forces me into a contemplative mode--reflecting on the past year.  2010, a year that I imagined would contain spaceships as cars and living on Mars.  When I was a little girl I never even thought we would be living to see such a date.  In elementary school, we would write stories based on 2010 and what we imagined life to be like on earth.  It's nothing close to what I had imagined! By 2010, I thought I would be happily married with a few children, teaching, living in some little suburban town with a white-picket fence and taking the family for a vacation once or twice a year--and thats it.  Boy, how times change. Who knew that every other girl was dreaming a similar dream at some point and how few of us actually have experienced it!  That dream hasn't happened to anyone I know, in that exact way, usually one or the other has, but not the whole package.  It's a reflection of how time has changed our outlook in life, society's standards, norms and expectations.

Bringing it back to my random thought process, I am grateful to have made it another year.  If I have offended you in any way, or you have seen any bad from me, please forgive me, as it is my own bad self and any good is from our Almighty Creator.  This year has had a lot of ups and downs and has been a heck of a roller-coaster, but one filled with MANY lessons thankfully!

May 2010 be filled with new hopes, dreams, aspirations and achievements for us.  I wish you success in this life and the next and remember that each breath could be our last, so don't take the people in your life for granted.  Tomorrow's not promised, so make today the best day you can! 

"Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today."-M.Ghandi

Good vs. bad compromise in love, -Karen Salmanson (

..There's a huge difference between "bad compromise" and "good compromise" in a relationship.

What makes for this difference?

• A "bad compromise" is changing your habits and self in such a way that you wind up becoming less of your full, authentic, thriving self.

• A "good compromise" is changing your habits and self in such a way that you grow more into your most full, authentic, best self

In my book "Prince Harming Syndrome," I offer some interesting love advice from Aristotle who explains that the reason why so many people are unhappy in life is because they choose mates simply for pleasure or utility. In other words, mates who are only sex-mates, ego-mates and/or wallet-mates.

Real-deal love happiness, according to Aristotle, comes from being involved in "a relationship of shared virtue," where you pick a mate who gets you at your core and lovingly inspires, challenges and supports you to become your best possible soul self.

"A relationship of shared virtue," therefore, is when you and your partner both welcome putting up with the temporary pain of personal change for the greater gain of personal growth -- or what Aristotle calls "the education of the soul."

According to Aristotle, this personal growth or "education of the soul" is definitely worth developing because every time you put forth the effort to stretch and strengthen your soul, you increase your overall happiness. Basically, he believed that true happiness comes from surrounding yourself with people, habits and experiences which help you grow into your best possible self.

With all this in mind, putting in the work of "good compromise" is a positive way to ensure you're stretching and strengthening your soul so you can grow into your best possible self and increase your overall happiness.

What is a good compromise? Here are some examples in action:

• When one partner requests the other to attempt to be a little neater or more organized.

• When one partner requests the other to take better care of their health and fitness.

• When one partner requests the other try to be a more direct communicator and to speak up more often. When one partner requests the other to speak less and listen more.

Or, to sum up "good compromise" in a highly memorable movie line, it's when Jack Nicholson's character in As Good As It Gets says to Helen Hunt's character: "You make me want to be a better man."

Are you right now wondering whether a specific compromise request is a good compromise or bad compromise? If so, I want you take some time to quiet your mind and meditate on this question. Breathe in love, breathe out fear. Breathe in growth, breathe out stagnation.

Now ask yourself the following two questions:

1. Will this compromise request lead to someone compromising their authentic self -- their purpose for being here and their spirit's fiery flame of passion? Is this compromise request trying to add far too much "obey" into that "love, honor and obey" relationship formula? If so, this is a bad compromise.

2. Will this compromise request help empower someone's authentic self in order to boost them to become a better man or woman (as Jack Nicholson's character so succinctly put it)? If so, this is a good compromise.

Thankfully, the old me is now happily involved in a "relationship of shared virtue" which only involves good compromise.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

When we are grateful for the good we already have, we attract more good into our life. On the other hand, when we are ungrateful, we tend to shut ourselves off from the good we might otherwise experience.  - Margaret Stortz
"I kept wondering all my life,
how a person who's always been there for others,
finds themself alone..."
-Maliha Farooqi

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages. -NIETZSCHE

Marriage is that relation between man and woman in which the independence is equal, the dependence mutual, and the obligation reciprocal. - LOUIS K. ANSPACHER

The goal in marriage is not to think alike, but to think together - ROBERT C. DODDS
“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, 
but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” 
- Maria Robinson

Sunday, December 20, 2009

122_flyislands_color.jpg image by tlvg
RumiQuoteIfNotinLove.jpg image by lorrihascats


Love is the One who masters all things;
I am mastered totally by Love.
By my passion of love for Love
I have ground sweet as sugar.
O furious Wind, I am only a straw before you;
How could I know where I will be blown next?
Whoever claims to have made a pact with Destiny
Reveals himself a liar and a fool;
What is any of us but a straw in a storm?
How could anyone make a pact with a hurricane?
God is working everywhere his massive Resurrection;
How can we pretend to act on our own?
In the hand of Love I am like a cat in a sack;
Sometimes Love hoists me into the air,
Sometimes Love flings me into the air,
Love swings me round and round His head;
I have no peace, in this world or any other.
The lovers of God have fallen in a furious river;
They have surrendered themselves to Love's commands.
Like mill wheels they turn, day and night, day and night,
Constantly turning and turning, and crying out.


"The goal is clear, 
but the path is unknown."

"How I got these scars in my heart,
How do I explain them?" 
- uj

The setting sun shall rise again

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Never be without rememberance of Him,

for His rememberance
gives strength and wings
to the bird of the Spirit.
If that objective of yours
is fully realized, that is
"Light upon Light"...

...But at the very least, by
practicing God's rememberance
your inner being
will be illuminated
little by little and
you will achieve
some measure of detachment
from the world.
- Jelaluddin Rumi
The garden of
is green without
and yields many
other than sorrow
and joy.
Love is beyond either
without spring,
without autumn,
it is always fresh.
-- Jelaluddin Rumi

"You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.”
"We have no right to ask when a sorrow comes, 'Why did this happen to me?' unless we ask the same question for every joy that comes our way.”

Sunday, December 13, 2009

“One day your life will flash before your eyes.  Make sure its worth watching.”

Thursday, December 10, 2009

"Presence" by Nader Khan

Love this song, speaks on behalf of my heart...


If you are patient in one moment of anger, you
will escape a hundred days of sorrow.
-- Chinese Proverb.

Anger, if not restrained, is frequently more
hurtful to us than the injury that provokes it.
-- Seneca.

The greatest remedy for anger is delay.-- Seneca.

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal
with the intent of throwing it at someone else;
you are the one who gets burned.
-- Buddha.

People who fly into a rage always make a bad
landing.-- Will Rogers.

Consider how much more you often suffer
from your anger and grief, than from those
very things for which you are angry andgrieved.
-- Marcus Antonius.

How much more grievous are the
consequences of anger than the causes of it.
- Marcus Aurelius.

Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help, and what he cannot help.
-- Thomas Fuller.

When a man is wrong and won't admit is, he
always gets angry. -- Thomas Haliburton.

No man can think clearly when his fists are
clenched.-- George Jean Nathan.
The hunger for love is much more difficult
to remove than the hunger for bread.
~Mother Teresa
Poetry spills from the cracks of a broken heart,
but flows from one which is loved.
~Christopher Paul Rubero
"Whenever you're in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude."-Timothy Bentley

Life's Marinade

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Alice Walker

Deliver me from writers who say the way they live doesn't matter. I'm not sure a bad person can write a good book, If art doesn't make us better, then what on earth is it for?