Free-writin...right now...

All these torn up feelings inside...

such highs and lows to my heart...

amazing how you can go one second from feeling so happy and carefree but then you crash and shut down, let in a state of sadness and emptiness...

i know my symptoms..i know my solutions..i know what i have to do...who thought, Ms.Invincible was actually so much weaker than they thought? I'm only human..I cant paint a smile on my face everywhere I go..I know its good to though, a person that has strength, that has tawwakul, that is stronger--that person will smile to be happy and not wait to be happy to smile...that person will also therefore BE happy because they have the implementation and application of a Lover of life...people wonder what it could be? This struggle between the Selfish and the Selfless...the in versus the out...I have made so many mistakes..I have done so many things I wish could be undone...all for the tricks and deception of shaitan...what can I do? Yes everything happens for a reason, sometimes things happen to wake us up and make us put ourselves in the right place again, or to give us a notion of what's wrong and right. Its a blessing that sometimes it happens sooner than later-as if the Beloved wants to give us another chance, or to keep us from messing something up. I know what's missing in my heart tonight..I know what is causing me so much pain..I know what I must do...I know all this...I need to do it...

So much inner turmoil...there are so many things I want..I wish I could have them right now, but I will only receive them accordingly and when God wants to give them to me. I have so much of myself that I want to give for so many different reasons and causes, I just have to wait for the right time and bear patience...

Thoughts...thoughts...ponderings...wonders...anxiousness...curiosity....

can't wait til things happen...I must practice patience!

Only time will tell the tale....

And so the story shall continue...

-Maryam Noori

If you make intense supplication
and the timing of the answer is delayed,
do not despair of it.
His reply to you is guaranteed;
but in the way He chooses,
not the way you choose,
and at the moment He desires,
not the moment you desire.
-Ibn ‘Ata’llah

Humility is our connection with our own fundamental Being, which has certain qualities:
Acceptance of what is, rather than complaints of 'poor me' or 'why me?'
Openness, rather than preoccupation with 'me'
Gratefulness, rather than resentment for what has happened to 'me'
Generosity, rather than possessiveness
Modesty, rather than the self-importance of 'me'
Forgiveness, rather than blame of others of ourselves
Trust, rather than insecurity and doubt.
-Kabir Helminski in 'The Knowing Heart'

7 Aspects for Spirituality-Remedies

There are seven of these, work with one for each day of the week.

1.) Potentiality:
a.) Meditate 30 minutes morning and evening every day.
b.) Commune with nature and witness the intelligence in every living thing.
c.) Practice non-judgment.

2.) Giving:
a.) Give a gift to everyone you meet.
b.) Be aware of the gifts that you receive.
c.) Silently wish every person happiness, joy, laughter and peace.

3.) Cause and Effect:
a.) Witness the choices that you are making in the present moment.
b.) Examine the consequences on yourself as well as others.
c.) Ask your heart for guidance.

4.) Least Effort:
a.) Accept the moment, don't resist what is.
b.) Take responsibility for the situation.
c.) Do not be attached to your point of view, remain open to other views.

5.) Intention and Desire:
a.) Make a list of desires.
b.) Release the list of desires to creation, remain willing to accept something better.
c.) Accept the present as-is.

6.) Detachment:
a.) Allow yourself, those around you, and the situation to be as they are.
b.) Accept uncertainty and allow solutions to arise out of chaos.
c.) Remain open to all possible outcomes.

7.) Purpose in Life:
a.) Pay attention to the still voice in your heart.
b.) Make a list of talents and find ways to use them to serve others.
c.) Ask "How can I help?", "How can I serve?".

He whose heart is moved by love, never dies.
-Hafiz

…we die to each other daily. What we know of other people is only our memory of the moments during which we knew them. And they have changed since then.

There are no accidents... there is only some purpose that we haven't yet understood.

The heart becomes sick, as the body becomes sick
and its remedy is al-Tawbah (repentance)and protection [from transgression].
It becomes rustyas a mirror becomes rusty
and its clarity is obtained by remembrance.
It becomes naked as the body becomes naked
and its beautification is al-Taqwa.
It becomes hungry and thirsty as the body becomes hungry
and its food and drink are knowledge, love, dependence, repentance c and servitude.
- Ibn al-Qayyim al-Jawziyyah

Your Remedy is within you, but you do not sense it.

Your Sickness is, but you do not percieve it.

You presume you are a small entity,

But within you is enfolded the entire universe.

You are indeed the evident book,

By whose alphabet the hidden becomes the manifest.

Therefore, you have no need to look beyond yourself,

What you seek is within you, if only you reflect.

-Ali ibn abu Talib (ra)

To understand the heart and mind of a person, look not at what he has already achieved, but at what he aspires to do...

The glance is a poisoned arrow of shaitan. Whoever lowers his gaze for Allah, He will bestow upon him a refreshing sweetness which he will find in his heart on the day that he meets Him.

-Muhammad (saaws)

Were you to put your complete trust in Allah, He would provide for you as He provides for the birds. They issue forth hungry in the morning and return filled in the evening.

Writing

Oh writer! An Angel watches over all you write. Make your writing meaningful

for it will eventually return to you and you will be questioned about what you wrote.

-Ali ibn Abu Talib (RA)

Friendship..?

Everyone projects the image of friendship which is established for the Pleasure of Allah. A true friend is one who takes no offence when a weakness is pointed out. And he too does not hesitate to point out the friends weakness and assist him in rectifiying it.

Purification of the Heart

Purification of the heart was once described by a scholar:

He gave the analogy of a man who didn't have a bath for a whole year. So to make himself look clean and presentable, the dirty man decided to put on perfume and wear expensive clothes. Obviously his actions would be futile. He would still reek and smell, right?

Similarly, if we have unclean hearts and we focus on external actions only, (e.g. Salah, fasting,etc.) our actions would be futile. Hence purification of the heart.

If we do not focus on the importance of purifying our heart,

all our external good deeds will be in vain.

"The sun never says to the earth,'You owe me.'Look what happens with a love like that.It lights up the whole sky."




It is God Who gives and it is He Who takes away. Whatever He takes today, He may give back tomorrow in a different way; material goods are not the essential thing in the path of God





You don't choose whom you love. He chooses them.

If you had that choice to choose;

then the road would be simple.

Whom he puts in your life, is part of your test:

to bear with them, to accept them
and most of all to love them despite all that they may agitate you with.
After all, they come from Him and they return to Him,

just like you did and will do.

"... And We have made some of you as a trial for others: will you have patience? And your Lord is Ever All-Seer " (Surah al-Furqan:20)

Sami Yusuf - Asma Allah

...

When you're feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, confused and frustrated...
"Know that Allah Most High is there. Know that He the All Seeing is watching. Know that He Most Wise is testing you. Know that He Most Powerful is Able to do All things. Whether it is from His Immense Love or His Wrath that you are feeling such anxiety, know that His Mercy outstrips His Wrath. Know that when you call out to Him in desperation, Your Beloved answers in ways you may not know. Oh faqir, call out to your Lord, Most High, oh faqir walk towards your Beloved, Your Beloved will take strides towards you. Oh faqir, open your heart to Your Beloved and Your Beloved will open His treasures to you.
-?

...

You rave about the Holy Place (Masjid al-Haram)

and say you've visited God's garden
but where is your bunch of flowers?
There is some merit
in the suffering you have endured
but what a pity you have not discovered
the Mecca that's inside
-Rumi

My heart is so small
it's almost invisible.
How can You place
such big sorrows in it?
"Look," he answered,
''your eyes are even smaller,
yet they behold the world."
-Rumi

come my sweetheart

let's adore one another

before there is no more

of you and me

a mirror tells the truth

look at your grim face

brighten up and cast away

your bitter smile

a generous friend

gives life for a friend

let's rise above this

animalistic behavior

and be kind to one another

spite darkens friendships

why not cast away

malice from our heart

once you think of me

dead and gone

you will make up with me

you will miss me

you may even adore me

why be a worshiper of the dead

think of me as a goner

come and make up now

since you will come

and throw kisses

at my tombstone later

why not give them to me now

this is me

that same person

i may talk too much

but my heart is silence

what else can i do

i am condemned to live this life

-Rumi

My Plea

Allah allah allah allah
Help me please,
My heart is so black and consumed with hypocrisy
Its infected with disease.
I have strayed so far,
I have been busy doing as I please,
I am so ashamed,
Why am I committing these sins with so much ease?
Why do I forget this life is nothing but an illusion-a mere tease?
Allah Allah,
Help me please,
Remind me the heat of the Hellfire goes beyond degrees,
Forgive me for my sins,
Which are as long as the seven seas.
I cling to you, my Beloved,
Give me strength,
Remind me that the shortest distance to solving my problem is the distance between the floor and my knees.
Allah allah allah…
Help me please...

-Maryam Noori 11/29/07

Life

Life, the other L word…
Has so many twists and turns,
Makes you think you’re important & special,
You livin a lie,
left w/ nothing but 1st degree burns..
Temporary emotions,
Semi-permanent scars,
Broken hearts, uneven proportions,
Too busy to remember our creator,
We’re busy fighting meaningless wars.
Fight with your inner,
Forget everyone else.
Don’t let your ego be the winner,
You have to break your “self”.
We all fall for the lies,
Foolin our hearts,
Waiting for our love to materialize.
We’re left with nothing but torn up parts.
Who are we turning to?
To God or to Man?
People don’t want to push themselves,
Say they “can’t” and forgot how to use the word “can”.
There’s a difference between the two, don’t you see?
One loves temporarily, the other one loves for eternity.
One has days where he wants you, or will give you attention,
The other loves you unconditionally and knows your intentions.
One’s love has condition and can easily be taken,
The other has a mercy that leaves my heart shaken.
One I can turn to whenever I need,
The other will always have some sort of self-greed.
We’re deceived by false creatures,
People caught up in some game.
Sellin their souls for nothing-but money, fortune and fame.
God sends them great gifts,
With it they don’t know what to do,
Then when they screw themselves over,
They’re left w/ regret in their faces til they turn blue.
They ask themselves why they’re lost and unfortunate,
Theirs is a deep and dark soul.
Not realizing they fell into shaitan’s number one goal.
So petty, so useless, so weak in the mind,
People can’t look in the mirror cuz they’ll wish they could rewind,
If only, one more chance, 'but', 'can’t' and 'please'.
People of the dunya caught up in this deadly self-destructing disease.
All we can do is pray for them and wish them the best,
Sadly some won’t learn their lesson til someone they know is laid to rest.
Contemplate death, reflect and ponder.
Get to know your Creator as you learn about his love,
For Him, your heart will grow fonder.
Ask yourself everyday,
As one asked, Is God far from you?
Who moved?
Return to the Almighty,
He will take you.
Remember, his mercy and compassion he has countlessly proved.
Now, you have to do what you gotta do…
-by Maryam Noori 6/18/07

When the world pushes you to your knees...

you are in the perfect position to pray....

The Night is darkest just before the Dawn....

When life gets you down or things make your world gloomy, remember there is always a light at the end of the tunnel and that there is always a rainbow and sunshine after a storm :)


Don't wait until you're happy to smile, but smile to be happy...

Madad...a beautiful song...

Is It?

IS this life filled with realization?
Frustration, confrontation, receiving the wrong education?
Contemplation leads to hesitation,
Then to temptation.
This life is just a test to see how far we have progressed,
And to know destiny’s manifest,
To finally gain some success.
Why are we so obsessed to possess and end up being repressed
And stressed for power.
Power is obsolete and attractive,
Radioactive and reactive.
Everyone craves it, they fiend,
They turn green and can only be mean
For power is only meant for one in this life,
Or so it seems.
This world is filled with flatterin,
Scatterin, things not matterin,
Heavy-hearts shatterin,
With the same ol’ pattern.
This life is full of extortions,
Emotions, explosions, corrosions,
Proportions and notions.
Is this life real? When can we heal?
When will they learn to feel?
Give back the lives that they steal,
Give everyone dying of hunger a meal,
Stop bargaining with God,
Thinking life is a deal.
Nobody’s heart is made out of steel.
Stop thinking you can control everything
with just a spin of the wheel.
Is this life for real?
There’s no promise for the next breath
That we take, the mistakes that we make,
The funk that we fake,
The lives we put at stake,
The fearful bodies that shake,
Its time that we wake,
This aint a joke or a game.
For value of life for everywhere is the same.
This life is nothing without feeling any shame.
We need to put out the burning flames
And forget about fame,
Just take a look at the world’s frame
And tell me who is to blame.
Is this life real…
-by Maryam Noori 2004

Writer's Block

free-writin,
clearin thoughts..
lettin my mind unwind...

ideas screamin out, fightin,
lettin my head fast-forward and rewind...

writers-block of the intellect,
put a pause...kept a hold,

not finding the right object,
to fit in this mind-created mold...

gotta let the schemes drift away,
holdin me back,
i have so much to say,

pen on paper, finger on keys...
doesn't matter the method,
just gotta put my mind at ease...

the writer's got block, can't think straight...
the piece becomes greater as it unravels,
its worth the wait...

gotta retract, pull back in,
let the block break away,
then i'll search from within,
who knows what tomorrow holds,
for its a new chapter, a new day...
-by Maryam Noori